April’s Adventures

Sorry I have no updated sooner! Mom went in for chemo on monday and her heart rate was again in the upper 150s. She was taken to the ER and given meds to basically reset her heart. She didnt get admitted after all her scans came back clear. She had no symptoms this time which is scary! She was able to then go get her chemo and went home after that. The last few weeks have been rough physically for her so she could defiantly use your prayers! Sunday is her birthday and I am so thankful she is here to celebrate another year!

So after a weeks worth of OPKs ran out I decided to call my doctor and see what she thought. She had me come in that day for an ultrasound. It basically showed I had 1 post mature follicle and a few others that werent mature. So she said most likely the OPKs just didnt detect it. She basically said to dont lose hope and hopefully everything will still work out this month. If not then we will try more monitoring in her office next month. I kinda figured this would happen. I was hoping if we did very little to make my body work it just would. I guess not so much.

In other random baby news I have had 2 dreams in the last 2 nights. The first night was an adoption dream. I have never in my life had one and it was very bizarre and vivid. This couple just gave us their baby girl. They had 4 kids and couldnt handle anymore and knew our struggle and just gave her to us. No money no nothing. Ha. I know that doesnt happen in real life but let me know you it was such a great feeling in that dream to know that I finally was a mom. And I remember in the dream that I thought wow now this is why I have all the baby stuff all ready to go….

The 2nd dream was last night and I dont really remember it as well but I just know that I was in the hospital giving birth. It was also a girl in this dream.

Nils also had a dream not too long ago that I gave birth in a hospital but was in a cubical. LOL that made me laugh. Apparently he missed the birth and got off the elevator and there I was in the cube with our baby. A girl as well.

I know all of these could mean nothing but still just makes my wheels turn and I just really would love some prayers for clarity as to what in the world our next step is supposed to be!

Just wanted to post a quick update on my mom.  She spent last week on a 7 day cruise with one of her good friends from Florida. They had an awesome time and I feel it was so great for her just to get away and enjoy life without the everyday reality of  ”I have cancer”. Unfortunately she couldn’t be out in the sun. She also couldn’t get in the water because of her open incision. But overall she still had a wonderful time. She heads back to work this week and I am really dreading this for her. She is tired and worn out easily and I just am praying for strength that can only come from God to help her keep moving. She had chemo today and as far as I know it went just fine. She hasn’t lost her hair yet which has been very surprising. Overall I feel she is doing well considering. I think she is doing as well as can be expected when you are undergoing chemo. Please pray for her as she heads back to work this week and back to a somewhat normal life again after being out since August.

Haven’t posted in a while but just wanted to post a few updates:

Mom: She went to the cardiologist last week and found out that the mass they biopsied is in fact cancer. We were kind of expecting this but at the same time just sucks. So now she has it on the lining of her lung and on the lower part of her pericardium. As far as her chemo goes she has been handling it pretty well. Last week she got pretty sick from it. She hasnt lost her hair yet and they are not sure she will since it hasnt started yet. This is good news for me because I just was not ready for that. Its like the one thing you can see outwardly that shows she is sick. :/ Other than that there is really no more news on the cancer topic. She is going on a cruise next week and is super excited about it. I am so happy for her to be able to do this! After the cruise she will finally head about to work.

Us: We just got back from a week long vacation to Florida with our best friends. We had a great time and it was nice just to get away from it all. We missed our puppy while we were gone but she was in good hands with my brother. I am starting back on weight watchers this week and am so ready to lose weight again. We are just kinda taking life as it comes on the baby front now and am hoping that all will just happen and hopefully soon!

So after the SVT episode mom had 2 more times in the hospital stay of 3 days. Finally after her heart starting cooperating they put her on an oral med to keep it steady. She was finally able to get her port in Thursday evening and released. I woke up Friday morning and decided that I needed to stay home and just spend time with her and help as much as I could. She was feeling pretty good Friday morning so around noon we decided to just get out of the house for a short trip. She wanted to get a Wig picked out before her hair starts falling out. This is recommended to get a closer match to your hair. Well she walked from the house to my car in the driveway and was short of breath again. The Cardiologist told her on Thursday that if she got short of breath without doing much that she needed to get back to the ER right away. Well she brushed it off at first but after about a block down the road we turned around and I called her doctor. We were informed to get in ASAP. If the fluid increased then she could go into cardiac tamponade: (https://www.google.com/health/ref/Cardiac+tamponade ).

This scared her pretty bad as it should. So we went to the ER around 1pm on Friday. They did another Echo and consulted her cardiologist and he said she needed to be transported to St. Joe’s and needed to get in ASAP to get the fluid drained. Because they found a mass as well they wanted to do a Pericardial Window to drain the fluid and take a biopsy of the mass. They got her to St Joe’s around 5:30 and took her at 6:00p.m. for surgery. They surgery went well over all. They drained over a pint of fluid around her heart and took the biopsy. They had some issues getting in because she has a lot of scare tissue from the Radiation from her cancer in 1991.  She drained a lot of fluid after the surgery as well because they left a chest tube in for 36 hours after the surgery. She recovered well from the surgery and is hopefully getting discharged in a few hours. She is so thankful to have had the surgery done and that worry is now hopefully gone and she can focus on the chemo. The oncologist came by yesterday and said that he wants her to start ASAP so they moved up the chemo to tomorrow. He is very optimistic because she was put in the 3rd trial group which is the new med and has so far had the best results!

Over all it was a very long week. She was only out of the hospital for about 12 hours between the two stays. I was able to stay at St Joe’s with her so I was there Friday and Saturday nights. She seems to be feeling a lot better, breathing better, and hopes to sleep better now as well. Tomorrow starts Chemo and she is ready to get going on that. She is a fighter and if anyone can get through all this crap it is her!

Some of you noticed Josh’s picture on Facebook. He had a doctor’s apt for what they thought was a bacterial infection. Well the meds weren’t helping him so on Friday at noon they told him to go to the ER. He waited all afternoon until mom was moved. He wanted to make sure she was going to be moved and wanted to go to the ER at the hospital she was going to be at. He is doing ok and has to follow up with another doctor this week for maybe more tests.

Thanks for all your prayers and support. To those of you on facebook thanks for the messages. I may not get back to all of you but I do appreciate every kind word and prayer and support. Our family is in need of that so much right now! We are all fighting with her to beat this! She is still way too young and has so much more life in her hopefully! I know more than anything she will keep fighting and has such a great attitude about everything!

We received all the paperwork about IVF and costs and what not. I knew the numbers but seeing it on paper just sucks. So I went to the medical financing website to find out terms and interest. Well its not good news. We are looking at a min of 8% and max of 22%. We have good credit but still with that interest and the loan amount we are needing it will be over 300 if not 400 a month for paying this off. We cannot afford to do that plus have the baby plus pay all our other debt and misc monthly bills. Seriously why does this have to be so freaking hard? Why is it that something as stupid as money is going to stand in the way of us having a baby? Right now we pretty much need a freaking miracle. Money falling from the sky or a money tree? Or how about my freaking body just magically get pregnant. Why does my freakish body require this much torture and treatment just to even have a glimmer of hope at actually getting pregnant and staying that way for a 3rd time.   

We are going to go forward with tomorrow’s procedure but its no longer to get approved for the attain program. Its more for my own peace of mind that everything is normal in there. Right now I don’t have a good feeling that it will turn out normal. UGH! I really just want to go run and scream but unfortunately I am at work so all this will get to boil in me. I literally feel sick. :(

Today’s test read -NO. No need for a picture this time.
Great. I knew it.

Seriously a ? Thanks First Response Gold for you wonderful answer!

http://www.firstresponse.com/digital_gold.asp

Today will be my 9th and final IUI. It may sound like a lot but the first 1 we got pregnant on. The 5th one we got pregnant on and here we are 4 more down and this will be the last one. We have an IVF consult scheduled for the first week in August. Hopefully I will get to cancel this apt because this works out but we’ll see. The cycle is the weakest one I have had so far which is pretty discouraging. We only had 1 follicle that made it through. We had 2 on friday and by Saturday that one hadnt grown and just 1 did. So the odds arent really in our favor this round. But I am going to try and be optimistic and hope for the best.  We will find out around July 27th if I am pregnant which would put me due the first part of April 2010. I will probably test the 25 or 26th. My due date from my miscarriages in November was due around that day and I am really dreading it but hope that I will have something happy to remember that day by! I just really figured that by now I would be pregnant again. I know I said this after my first miscarriage and it did in fact happen but that one didnt make it either. So here’s hoping this one will work and stick around. Please keep us in your prayers! Even though we have the consult scheduled it really doesnt mean we’ll be able to do it. Its $17,000 that we dont really have.