Too much time in the Hospital….

31 08 2009

So after the SVT episode mom had 2 more times in the hospital stay of 3 days. Finally after her heart starting cooperating they put her on an oral med to keep it steady. She was finally able to get her port in Thursday evening and released. I woke up Friday morning and decided that I needed to stay home and just spend time with her and help as much as I could. She was feeling pretty good Friday morning so around noon we decided to just get out of the house for a short trip. She wanted to get a Wig picked out before her hair starts falling out. This is recommended to get a closer match to your hair. Well she walked from the house to my car in the driveway and was short of breath again. The Cardiologist told her on Thursday that if she got short of breath without doing much that she needed to get back to the ER right away. Well she brushed it off at first but after about a block down the road we turned around and I called her doctor. We were informed to get in ASAP. If the fluid increased then she could go into cardiac tamponade: (https://www.google.com/health/ref/Cardiac+tamponade ).

This scared her pretty bad as it should. So we went to the ER around 1pm on Friday. They did another Echo and consulted her cardiologist and he said she needed to be transported to St. Joe’s and needed to get in ASAP to get the fluid drained. Because they found a mass as well they wanted to do a Pericardial Window to drain the fluid and take a biopsy of the mass. They got her to St Joe’s around 5:30 and took her at 6:00p.m. for surgery. They surgery went well over all. They drained over a pint of fluid around her heart and took the biopsy. They had some issues getting in because she has a lot of scare tissue from the Radiation from her cancer in 1991.  She drained a lot of fluid after the surgery as well because they left a chest tube in for 36 hours after the surgery. She recovered well from the surgery and is hopefully getting discharged in a few hours. She is so thankful to have had the surgery done and that worry is now hopefully gone and she can focus on the chemo. The oncologist came by yesterday and said that he wants her to start ASAP so they moved up the chemo to tomorrow. He is very optimistic because she was put in the 3rd trial group which is the new med and has so far had the best results!

Over all it was a very long week. She was only out of the hospital for about 12 hours between the two stays. I was able to stay at St Joe’s with her so I was there Friday and Saturday nights. She seems to be feeling a lot better, breathing better, and hopes to sleep better now as well. Tomorrow starts Chemo and she is ready to get going on that. She is a fighter and if anyone can get through all this crap it is her!

Some of you noticed Josh’s picture on Facebook. He had a doctor’s apt for what they thought was a bacterial infection. Well the meds weren’t helping him so on Friday at noon they told him to go to the ER. He waited all afternoon until mom was moved. He wanted to make sure she was going to be moved and wanted to go to the ER at the hospital she was going to be at. He is doing ok and has to follow up with another doctor this week for maybe more tests.

Thanks for all your prayers and support. To those of you on facebook thanks for the messages. I may not get back to all of you but I do appreciate every kind word and prayer and support. Our family is in need of that so much right now! We are all fighting with her to beat this! She is still way too young and has so much more life in her hopefully! I know more than anything she will keep fighting and has such a great attitude about everything!





Long day…..

25 08 2009

We had mom’s oncology apt today. We went in fully knowing what we thought was going to happen and we were right. He said she needs to get on Chemo right away. He gave a few options and mom decided that she would go for the option involving a trial study. In this study there are 3 different med options and she will not know which they are doing but the doctor assured us that there would be Chemo with all 3 options. There is no placebo in this trial. He expects her to be on it about 6 months. She will lose her hair. She will go once a week for 3 weeks then have a week off and so on. Well during this apt they took her vitals. After the doctor looked at this he decided that she needed to have a EKG done. It was then found that she was in SVT . He immediately told her she needed to go to the ER. This scared all of us pretty bad. We got down there and I did not leave her side. After some monitoring and positioning her head down and feet down it wasnt getting better so they had to administer a drug to basically “reset” her heart as the ER doc put it. It was scarey to watch because she literally for seconds felt light headed, like she couldnt breathe, and so on. Once they did that her heart rate dropped super low and hit the lower 100s. They decided that they would admit her over night to monitor her. Had we not had the oncology apt today whos know what would have been. This answers a lot about her shortness of breath and so on. It was all because her heart was over working. She is resting now at the hospital. Tomorrow she will go in to get a porta cath put in. She requested this because she had it last time with the chemo and since then her veins are really hard to get to so this will make things easier. ( http://www.breastcancer.org/treatment/chemotherapy/overview/ports.jsp ). She also needs to have a bone scan done. They are hoping do this tomorrow as well.

Well thats basically the update. Sorry if this is all over the place. My head has been through a million emotions today and I just am at a loss for how to really describe how I feel so I tried to just stick with what is going on.

She has cancer and has to have Chemo. She is very positive and told me her biggest fear was that there was nothing they could do. So as crappy as Chemo is; she is glad there are options to fight this. Please pray for her and our family as we go through this with her. She is an amazingly strong women and if anyone can fight this it is her!





I hate CANCER!

20 08 2009

In 1990 my mom was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. Through the course of a couple of years she had Chemo, Radiation, a mastectomy, and then restoration surgery. She had been given the all clear and was to be checked up on every so often. Well when we moved to Georgia she got a new doctor. They did a CAT scan on her and found some on her lungs. The doctor wasn’t overly concerned and said that they would just keep an eye on it and that it is small and looks like it could have been there all along but was just slowly growing since her breast cancer. This scared me more than anything with her living so far away and it just sucked knowing she does have cancer and that I knew it had a mind of its own. When she moved to Minnesota she found a new doctor and he was a lot more proactive. He wanted her to be screened every 3 months to make sure it wasn’t getting worse. He also put her on a new medicine and at one point we thought it was shrinking. 

Well last weekend she was having shortness of breath. On Tuesday she had to go for her every 3 month scan. On Wednesday my grandpa told her that he is concerned because the shortness of breath is how all of his heart issues started. So they made an apt and she got in to see a primary care doctor. They were able to pull up her scans and look over them. Well come to find out she has fluid around her heart, enlarged lymph nodes, and her lung cancer is spreading and growing. To say we are SHOCKED is an understatement. But another side of me believes that Cancer free is a crock and it was just a matter of time. I know this may upset some but I have seen way too many people be “cancer free” and it come back full. Even her doctor said that it just sometimes hides which is why they probably didn’t find it years ago when she had breast cancer. So today she has to go for an Echo-cardiogram to see what they need to do about the fluid around her heart and then on Monday we will be going to the Oncologist. She had an apt with him in two weeks but they want to see her as soon as possible. He is out of town this week so we are waiting until Monday. She really wants to see him because he knows all of her history and all of the every 3 month scans well and he can really give us insight as to how bad this is. We have a feeling she will need chemo and radiation because he made mention of this before if things progressed.

So that’s kinda in a nutshell how we got to this point. I am completely devastated. I know that God can heal and I am begging and praying him to. I want my mom to be around for her grandchildren when and however they come. I want her to be well enough to enjoy them. I know that Nils and I’s kids might be her only ones and we have tried so desperately over the last 3 1/2 years to have her be a grandma. I need her to be here! I don’t have a relationship with my dad and she is all the parent I have or need!

So please pray for my family that we will be prepared for whatever comes our way not only at the apt today but the Oncologist on monday. I am taking the day off monday to go with her and my grandparents. I hope I have more encouraging news then. :(





Completely Defeated…

7 08 2009

We had our IVF consult and the Saline Sono. Sono went fine and everything looked “normal”. That term is getting pretty old. If everything was “normal” I would have been pregnant 2 years ago. Nils has to have more testing done that would have cost $1000 and then the 17,000 for the IVF. It’s pretty overwhelming so at this point we are done. We cant afford to keep dumping money into testing and then actually have the IVF. There is no magical grant money out there and loans suck. So back to trying on our own which didnt work for the first 2 years. So to say Im discouraged would be an understatement. Im not really sure how to live without feeling like maybe I will get pregnant this month. Im pretty sure at this point I wont even know if I’m pregnant even if I was because most cycles go months in between.

So thats pretty much my useless update. Who knows when and if we’ll ever go back down the treatment road. And if we do all of the testing I have had done to this point will be useless because its only good for 6 months.

Maybe we aren’t cut out for this having kids thing. Seems like it comes pretty easy for the majority of the world I live in. So much for being young and having my life together. I feel like I am having to mourn the loss of my two miscarriages all over again only this time its the loss I feel of maybe never being pregnant again. So unless a Miracle happens in our life this is as far as we get. :(

So with that I doubt there will be many updates in the furture. I guess I dont really have a lot to talk about now.

 





Completely sick to my stomach

3 08 2009

We received all the paperwork about IVF and costs and what not. I knew the numbers but seeing it on paper just sucks. So I went to the medical financing website to find out terms and interest. Well its not good news. We are looking at a min of 8% and max of 22%. We have good credit but still with that interest and the loan amount we are needing it will be over 300 if not 400 a month for paying this off. We cannot afford to do that plus have the baby plus pay all our other debt and misc monthly bills. Seriously why does this have to be so freaking hard? Why is it that something as stupid as money is going to stand in the way of us having a baby? Right now we pretty much need a freaking miracle. Money falling from the sky or a money tree? Or how about my freaking body just magically get pregnant. Why does my freakish body require this much torture and treatment just to even have a glimmer of hope at actually getting pregnant and staying that way for a 3rd time. :(   

We are going to go forward with tomorrow’s procedure but its no longer to get approved for the attain program. Its more for my own peace of mind that everything is normal in there. Right now I don’t have a good feeling that it will turn out normal. UGH! I really just want to go run and scream but unfortunately I am at work so all this will get to boil in me. I literally feel sick. :(