Testing take 2…

30 07 2009

So as I mentioned previously I have to repeat all of my initial testing for infertility. I have all my apts scheduled.

Friday-Day 3 bloodwork

Tuesday (8/4) Saline Sono and IVF consult

Tuesday (8/18) Day 21 bloodwork

Fortunately I dont have to have another HSG. That was scheduled for next wednesday but I was able to cancel it because they only need either that HSG or saline sono. I am nervous for the results for that but am hopeful that everything is A OK.

After all this testing is done we can apply for the program. Depending on if we get accepted or not will really determine if we move forward. Only time will tell what is next I guess.


Comments : 1 Comment »

Categories : IVF

On to the next chapter

28 07 2009

Our last and maybe final IUI failed. To say Im heartbroken would be an understatement. Because we are going through IF treatments I had to get a blood test to confirm this. It sucks walking into there just knowing what the outcome already is. I talked to a nurse before leaving and told her that we had an apt next week but was just wondering what the dr might have written in our chart. She said basically we could do 1 last IUI since we wont see him before my next cycle starts or we can begin testing for IVF. Basically in order to qualify for the Attain program which is a program that you pay 1 price for the treatment (plus meds) and you get 6 “tries or 3 IVF and 3 fet(frozen embryo transfers) I have to repeat all the testing I have done in the past because its been more than 18 months since the initial work up. This means at least 2 different sets of blood tests, at least 2 in office procedures. 1 of which I have done before and let me tell you I prayed I would never have to go through that again and then 1 that I have never had done before. Basically the first is an HSG. They inject dye in my tubes to make sure they are open. The other they inject saline solution in my uterus and can see if there is anything abnormal in there. All of these tests have to be carefully timed. So within the next week I will probably have all of them done and then 1 additional round of blood work on day 21. After all this then I can officially apply for the program. We may still have the option of trying 1 last IUI but I wanted to get this testing repeated before we do that. A lot could have happened in the last 18 months since I have had 2 miscarriages. I just want to be sure we have the best possible chance physically for a healthy baby!

Nils and I both really feel this is the next step for us. The good news about the program is it has high success rates and they are so confident in the program that they give a full refund if you dont get pregnant since I am under 35 other than the cost we pay in for meds which are most of the way covered by insurance.

So anyways thats kind of an update on us. Please pray for us as we figure all the details out. We unfortunatlly dont have 17,000 just laying around so we will have to be financing this. This has been a struggle to deal with because we just went through financial peace but we feel confident that the Lord will somehow provide a way for this to happen and in the end He will ultimately get all the glory for this long journey.


Comments : 2 Comments »

Categories : IVF, TTC Round 3

- No

24 07 2009

Today’s test read -NO. No need for a picture this time.
Great. I knew it. :(


Comments : Leave a Comment »

Categories : Uncategorized

?

23 07 2009

Seriously a ? Thanks First Response Gold for you wonderful answer!

IMG_1074

http://www.firstresponse.com/digital_gold.asp


Comments : 2 Comments »

Categories : Uncategorized

Analyzing Everything….

23 07 2009

Towards the end of every cycle, every twinge, cramp, or whatever feeling is analyzed. Could this be a pregnancy symptom? This is something I felt last time and so on. Pretty much its this major mind game. Then usually around 10 days past IUI is when reality sinks in and the thoughts turn from excited to completely hopeless. That’s where Im at today. I really dont feel anything anymore. I know I know It’s early. But still I have felt something from the beginning with both pregnancies so far. I know neither turned out well but they were still pregnancies and its the only thing I have to base what I feel on. So with all that in mind I dont think Im pregnant. I cried myself to sleep with that harsh reality that the end of our 3 year 7 month road to trying to have a child is coming to an end. Do I feel adoption is our next step? No I really don’t. Did I hope that when we reached this point that feeling would have changed? Yes! But for some reason that feeling isnt there. Do I wish more than anything to have a child? Yes! So basically we have gotten no where these last few years and are left with nothing but mourning over the loss of our 2 children that never made it here to earth and mourning the thought of maybe never having a child or children to fill our home. Oh and to make this even worse my due date is this weekend. Ugh.

So with that Im pretty much at a total loss. I really dont even want to bother with going to the IVF consult since we cant afford it anyways and really dont feel like adding that bill onto all the rest that have piled up this year all for a doctor to tell us he doesn’t have any idea why we can’t get pregnant with these treatments anymore. Or why I hardly responded this cycle? And best yet the old I think IVF will be the next course of action for you if you choose to pursue further medical help.

So you win IF. You have failed my body. You have failed me becoming a mommy or Nils becoming a daddy. You have failed us making our parents grandparents. You have taken all my hopes and dreams away. You have taken my 1st christmas’s, birthday’s, little league games, dance recitals, pig tails and tea parties, and all the other things I pictured us doing.  You have completely broken my heart. :(


Comments : 2 Comments »

Categories : TTC Round 3

9th and Final….

13 07 2009

Today will be my 9th and final IUI. It may sound like a lot but the first 1 we got pregnant on. The 5th one we got pregnant on and here we are 4 more down and this will be the last one. We have an IVF consult scheduled for the first week in August. Hopefully I will get to cancel this apt because this works out but we’ll see. The cycle is the weakest one I have had so far which is pretty discouraging. We only had 1 follicle that made it through. We had 2 on friday and by Saturday that one hadnt grown and just 1 did. So the odds arent really in our favor this round. But I am going to try and be optimistic and hope for the best.  We will find out around July 27th if I am pregnant which would put me due the first part of April 2010. I will probably test the 25 or 26th. My due date from my miscarriages in November was due around that day and I am really dreading it but hope that I will have something happy to remember that day by! I just really figured that by now I would be pregnant again. I know I said this after my first miscarriage and it did in fact happen but that one didnt make it either. So here’s hoping this one will work and stick around. Please keep us in your prayers! Even though we have the consult scheduled it really doesnt mean we’ll be able to do it. Its $17,000 that we dont really have.


Comments : 1 Comment »

Categories : Uncategorized