April’s Adventures

Just wanted to post a quick update from my apt this morning.

-Cysts are all gone.

-Lining clot and fluid is no where to be found.

-Stopping birth control and gearing up to start next cycle in the next couple of days.

-Dont have to go back for a baseline u/s since this covered it.

-Go back on day 8 and hope that everything will work out since we are supposed to be in Duluth next thursday and friday! EEK!

-Try to relax and hope this is it. I had to cancel our consult since we will want it to be after this cycle if needed. Hoping and praying we dont need the apt!

Just wanted to post a quick update from my last post. I just talked to my clinic and they said that the notes back from the doctor after viewing the pictures from my ultrasound point to it being a blood clot in my lining. The nurse said they will check it again when I go back in a week and half and that they may need to do a Saline Sonogram. She didnt seem really worried about it but they are defiantly wanting to keep an eye on things. So I guess I can add this to my long list of experiences with all this Infertility stuff. My bag of tricks is getting pretty big!

So my new cycle started at 3pm friday. Too late to get into my doc. So I called the on call doc and he said that I needed to be seen at the Minneapolis office saturday or sunday. So I called at 8 am Saturday and had to be there by 9:30am. Well they found at least 3 cysts (1 of which being HUGE) and my lining is still way too thick. SO they said go to your clinic on monday morning and get rechecked. She also said to me “are you sure you arent pregnant??” Um nope you guys already tested me. So today I went in and same crap. They then decided that things just dont look right. And now I have fluid in my lining and either a blood clot or a polyp. The doctor is out today and will be looking over this part especially tomorrow when he gets in. So they repeated my blood test which of course came up negitive again. So now I have to be on birth control pills for 2 weeks in hopes that it clears these cysts up and we can finally get the last cycle in. (in case you are wondering why is she going on birth control when she is trying to get pregnant here is what I found online: Birth Control Pills. If you have a functional cyst that is larger in size and causing some symptoms, birth control pills may be prescribed. The purpose of birth control pills is to alter your hormone levels so the cyst will shrink. Birth control pills will reduce the probability of other cysts growing.) I go back for a follow up on the 29th and we will know something hopefully then. Until then Im going to try and enjoy the next 2 weeks of not living and breathing trying to get pregnant and really pray that this is clearing me out for the best possible cycle that I have ever had in the last 3 1/2 years.

I am not saying this to hurt anyone but one last thing that I want to leave that has been bugging me and may help you in the future when you are talking to someone that is experiencing infertilty. It is people telling me not to stress and that it could be what is causing me to not get pregnant. My problem is anovulation not stress. I dont ovulate on my own. Sometimes its the little things that people say to me that really hurt and bother me more than others and this is really one of them. Here is something that I found on bethany.org that I think hits exactly what I feel about all of this:

THE STRESS MYTH
“Infertility is caused by stress. Try to relax. Take a vacation or a cruise.”

Infertility is seldom the result of psychological factors. In 90 percent of all infertility cases, infertility specialists are able to determine a physical problem. According to Resolve, the national infertility support organization, “Psychological stress is more likely a result of infertility than the cause.”

Please dont take offense to this I just want you to see and understand my side of how this feels when it is said to me.

Thanks to everyone on the outpouring of support that I have gotten over my last post. It has been a long and difficult road and I truly wish and hope and pray that no more of my friends or family have to go down this road. It has been by far the biggest test of my faith than any thing else that I have gone through in my life and I have had some major battles in the past. Thanks for your prayers and continued prayers as we soon will face this last cycle as soon as this all clears up.

Well I figured I should do some sort of update on here. We just finished up another IUI cycle and it was a failure. I decided not to blog about it and hope that I could just post we’re pregnant and that would be that. Well no such luck. Everything “looked” perfect this past cycle but it didnt take. So we have decided that this next IUI will be our last. If this month doesnt work than this will be the end of the road for treatments for who knows how long. The doctor agreed that this should be our last before having a consult with him. This will be my 9th IUI and only 2 have taken so its not really that great of odds. The doctor decided to alternate my medication doses each day (75IU then 112.5 IUI then 75IU…etc) in hopes of making less follicles that are better quality and let them mature just a little longer. We will also be trying back to back IUIs. This is the first time we will have tried that. Basically the day after trigger and the next day after will be IUIs. We should know if this works around the 1st week in July. If it doesnt we have a consult with the RE July 7th. Basically he will inform us that nothing is working and our only other option medically will be IVF. So unless we had 20,000 laying around this will not be an option for us. You have to pay everything up front for the program. Basically you get 6 cycles covered in that 20,000 and if nothing works out in the end you get your money back. Thankfully Im under 35 so we would get everything back if it didnt work. But like I said 20,000 isnt something we have laying around and we are going through Financial Peace right now so we no longer have a credit card or anything. They have all been shreaded and we are making every effort to pay all of our debt off. So even if we had 20,000 it would probably go towards getting us out a hole we’ve created ourselves over the last 5 years together. So not very encouraging news at all. We both feel fine if IVF was to be our only option but we dont have a money tree growing in our front yard. We also dont feel that our road is heading toward adoption at this point. It is something I feel that you get a clear direction towards and neither of us feel led towards that at this point.

So thats where we stand. 3 1/2 years later and we are still waiting, hoping, and praying that God will give us a child.