April’s Adventures

So today I decided that trying to have a baby is not going to run my life. Since October it has been all I can think about, all I can talk about, and so on. Since April all I could talk and think about was being pregnant and now in the last 4 weeks all that has been on my mind is losing the baby. Because of all of this I had given up on Weight Watches and exercising and because of this the 63lbs that I lost now became 20lbs. In a year Ive gained back 40lbs! It is time to get back on track and get back to losing weight and letting things happen in their time.  Today came my first period since the miscarriage. I have been having what now is imaginary pregnancy symptoms for the last week and was completely convinced that I was in fact pregnant again. Unfortunately that isnt the case! It was so heartbreaking to see that today as I am at work and cant really deal with those emotions! It sucks to have that as a reminder just 1 day after what would have been 15 weeks. In 4 weeks we should be finding out what our baby is and instead are now waiting 4 weeks to see if we are unsuccessful another month. Pray for us as we are still dealing with all of this and that I will be able to refocus on what is going on right now and not what will happen in the future.