April’s Adventures

I had my ultrasound today to see if everything was ready for the IUI. I had mixed emotions as I drove home in the crap that was falling from the sky that we call snow. The ultrasound showed that I have one “perfect” egg as the NP referred to it as. Last month 6 in there at this ultrasound; this month 1. I know that a normal women only has 1 each month but yet the women with unexplained infertility cant be overly excited about 1! This is where faith comes in. I have to believe that the Lord only ever uses 1 egg normally and all it takes is 1. He can do miracles and I just have to believe at this point that He can do this and will. Pray for me if you read this before tomorrow at 9:20 am. And if you don’t read this before then pray that this was all it took for us to finally have that dream come true!

So I just finished up my round 3 of clomid yesterday and needless to say this was the worst cycle yet! I had such horrible emotions and pretty much cried about everything. I just couldn’t seem to be happy or see the positive about anything in life. I think I am usually a pretty open, optimistic person who doesn’t really let her emotions get to her. I am just not that girl! I don’t usually get grouchy or moody during that time each month but yikes did some crazy women come out of me this time. I’m glad that my pills are over for this month and know that no matter what happens this month I will not be taking those nasty little white pills again. If everything doesn’t go right this round I’ll be going on a different medication. I go in on Monday for a follicle ultrasound. Hopefully everything looks great and I will get my trigger shot and go back in on Tuesday afternoon for the iui. Please pray that everything lines up and is perfect so I d0n’t have to go in again for another ultrasound! I did 2 last month and they are not cheap! After all of that then I will be onto the 2WW (2 week wait). So there wont be a ton to report after those apts but hopefully in a few weeks I will have some awesome news. I know that talking about this openly means that people will know early on but at this point in the game I would much rather have about a million people praying for a healthy baby from the start than just a couple and to have the support up front. Well that’s about all about me for now.
Nils is keeping busy with work and church. He will be running the sound system for a concert at church tonight for a big Christian worship song writer! He has been running sound a good bit lately but I think he enjoys it a ton! I am so proud of all that he knows how to do and have learned so much over the last few months about our relationship and Love him so much for all of his support over the last few months especially! He may not always have the words of comfort but I know he loves me and is there to take care of me!
We didn’t really do much for Easter because we were both at church most of the time but we had an awesome dinner with some friends on sat after church and then more good food at moms on Sunday! It is always great to be together with family and holidays are just another wonderful time to be together! We had Nils’s grandpa over and had a wonderful time with him and sent him home with leftovers that hopefully fed him for a few days!
Josh got a job and seems to like it so far which is such a huge answer to prayer. Grandpa was at Mayo for the last 3 days getting a heart cath and 2 stints put in. He seems to be doing well and is at home resting now! We are so thankful he has the doc that he has because that means he goes to the best place on the whole earth for medical care! Thankfully the Lord allowed them to get what they needed done and he doesn’t have to have another open heart surgery which was a possibility earlier this week. Mom is doing well and hopefully will be offered a full time day only job in her department! It would be so great for her not to have to work nights again!
Well that’s about all I can think of for now! I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter and I’ll be back on Monday or Tuesday to update on all the latest!

Well this week has just been one of those emotional rollercoasters of yay I hope Im finally pregnant to oh great another cycle down the drain! I just want off the stupid ride already! Everything starts back over today. I am so disappointed because last cycle looked so good and positive and I think I had about a million people praying for it! I know that like our sermon last weekend said I have to believe that my miracle will still come even in the storms of life they do happen! I really hate this storm! When I went in for my 2nd ultrasound the doc said that “if” I didn’t get pregnant this time that she said I should strongly consider IUI next round. It scared me and made me nervous but at this point I’m going to listen and do what they think is our next plan because I will take all the help I can get at this point. I am waiting on a call back from them to confirm everything and to call in my next round of clomid. I have a feeling they will keep me on the same dose because I did pretty well on it considering! I am guessing that all of this will end up taking place somewhere around the 1st of April give or take a few days depending on when I get the hcg shot and so on. We have about 12-36hrs after that shot to have the procedure done and it will all take place at the doc’s office in about an hour. I am really trying to stay strong in all of this but these last few days have been the hardest so far that I think I have gone through during this whole mess! Well that’s about all I can think of for now but thought I would update everyone that reads this as most of you are not here in MN. I hope everyone has a wonderful Easter and hopefully next month I will have better news to report!

I had my 2nd ultrasound on Tuesday! Everything went awesome! I have at least 3 good candidates. She stopped looking after that point because she was happy with at least that many ready to go! She gave me the shot and sent me on my way! I was soo relieved to go in there and get such great news! I am so thankful that the Lord provided just enough for us and not too many. There are patients that go in and have like 20! When that happens they cancel the cycle and start again the next month! That would be so frustrating! I am really trying to focus on the positive and wait on the Lord to bless us! Nils and I are both just excited to see what our future will hold! We both came to the conclusion today that if He blesses us with 2 we will be so thankful that we wont have to go through this whole mess again and can begin enjoying our lives with a beautiful family! If we get 1 then someday this game will all start over again! Right now is just the waiting game! There wont be much to report for a while! My next cycle would start around the 18th. Hopefully it doesnt come! Thanks for all of your prayers and well wishes! It is just so hard to understand why at 24 I would have issues like this but it happens and I am learning more and more that I am not alone in this!
Next week Nils will celebrate his 26th birthday! It is so crazy how time flies! It was 7 years ago that I was flying up here around this time to meet him for the first time and now look how far we’ve come since then! I am so blessed to have him in my life and cant wait to see what is in store in the future for us!
We will be going to duluth next weekend and cant wait! We spent time around all of our bdays last year together and thought we shouldnt break tradition!! We always have a blast and Im sure this time will be no different! At least it will give us a chance to take our mind off of everything and be refreshed to start whatever that week will hold!
Well hope you have a wonderful weekend ahead!

So just a quick update on the doc’s apt on Sunday. I went to Northfield Hosp and met up with someone from my clinic. She took me in and checked everything out to see if I would be able to get the HCG shot. Unfortunately she said that the egg sizes are not quite ready and that I have to go back tomorrow to recheck and hopefully then get the shot. Yes I did say sizes (plural) of the eggs. I have 6 right now in there. 3 on each side. (a normal person’s cycle normally produces 1 egg and only one side per month usually works) She seemed a little shocked by that and proceeded nicely to say that at your age and that amount of eggs if everything works this month she would be surprised if we just had 1 kid. Yikes! I always knew that was a possibility but it is still nerve racking anyways! I know that God will not give us more than we can handle so I am trusting Him in whatever He decides to give us! I am really ready for this next step in our life and can hardly believe that in a few short weeks that could all be a reality! Please keep us in your prayers as we go through this whole cycle and the months to come!